Sex Is(n't) Violent

I mean, it certainly doesn't have to be, unless you're really, really into the Jane's Addiction song I named this post for. But if you've been watching Vh-1 (or I suppose MTV) lately, you wouldn't know it. I put it on while I was at the gym this morning, and it really brought home something I've been kind of noticing for a while -- the whole sex/violence nexus that's been with us for wayyy too long in Western culture appears to have turned some kind of corner. Suddenly it seems women don't just like it rough, they are in fact the instigators and/or perpetrators of violence.

Exhibit A: SafetySuit, "Stay"
I know nothing about this band, they were one of Vh-1's "You Oughta Know" songs. Since just the band's name for me was a tip-off I wouldn't like them, I wasn't going to watch the video -- until I saw that it started with the lead singer's battered, bloody face. Wait, wha...? So he's on a road trip with his girl, the car breaks down, they check into a motel straight out of a Rob Zombie movie. It alternates between her being all sweet with him, and shots of her looking at the singer with undisclosed malice. Then -- whoops -- turns out she's a criminal, and he's a cop. Next thing you know, he's bound to a chair, and she's whacking him over the head with some kind of bad motel decor. He's spitting up blood... so of course she goes in for the makeout. Ick.

Exhibit B: Pink, "Don't Leave Me"
Somewhat of a spoof on Misery but possibly more disturbing, Pink's partner threatens to leave her, so she proceeds to push him down the stairs (twice, once is while he's in a wheelchair), break his leg with a golf club, mutilate him, and dress him in bizarre makeup then shove him into a roomful of baby dolls (you can't make this stuff up!) all while repeatedly coming back to him, cooing at him, and touching his face lovingly. That last bit of textbook domestic abuse really pushes up the ick-factor. She continually ups the ante until he pushes her off a balcony, which she appears to recover from, ready to go at it again save for the appearance of the police.

Exhibit C: Lady GaGa, "Pokerface"
I fully admit to liking this song, even if GaGa appears to be the bastard daughter of Donatella Versace and Christina Aquilera. But if you listen even, well, not that closely -- "when it comes to love if it's not rough it isn't fun." Is this really a great message in the age of Chris Brown and Rihanna? When 1 in 5 high school girls reports relationship violence?

These all just weird me out, especially given that men, not women are overwhelmingly the perpetrators of domestic, relationship, and sexual violence. I'm hardly one to argue for direct media effects, but I do think it's disturbing that the current zeitgeist seems to imply that women are violent, sexually predatory, and like it that way.