September Shuffle Mix!

School's starting, September's ending, I need to get on this. Or come up with some new thing to blog about. But I like imagining that there's some capital-R Reader out there who I'm occasionally helping find new songs or rediscover old ones. SIGH. Am I really this cynical, or just really tired? I think just really tired.

Also today it crossed my mind to start highlighting my hair and change the name of this blog to "Sociologically Blonde." I realize for it to completely work I'd have to shave my dog, which I don't totally love. I think it was just because I was walking to this thing today (well power-walking and totally breaking my shoe due to the slowness of public transportation) and I was wearing 70s nana sunglasses, this like sort of blousy pink Marc Jacobs shirt that's sort of got a prairie-heiress look, a denim miniskirt, the afore-mentioned now-broken pink and gold pointy-toed flats, and this Gucci bag, and I was like, "Hmm, this is people's first impression of me. Possibly I need to think harder about these things."

But then it made me think of how in Legally Blonde II, the only scene I really liked was when Reese Witherspoon was all crying about something, and Luke Wilson is like, "You know what I thought when first met you?" and she says, "God, that woman wears a lot of pink." And do you know what? Weirdly, that totally is the kind of first impression I want to make. Can't I be known for sociology and my sense of style? It worked for these profs, sort of. For the record, I would have been willing to wear my own clothes. Or at least style myself and be like, "yes, I totally would wear this."

Till then, here's my mix for September.

1. 2Pac feat. Dr Dre, "California Love"
What? Yes, sometimes I am allowed to put a completely obvious song everyone's heard a million times before. I don't have to just put "West Coast Poplock" or "Woman to Woman" (wait did I already put "Woman to Woman"?) and go on a big rant about sampling. I also appreciate that this video brings the whole Mad Max aesthetic from metal to rap.

2. De la Soul, "A Rollerskating Jam Called Saturdays
My senior year of college I had a cassette of De La Soul is Dead that I just about wore out I listened to it so much. I know, the crazy thing about this story -- I was still listening to cassettes in 2002! I actually made the jump directly from cassette Walkman to iPod... I just never got the whole CD thing. Anyway, this song always makes me feel good. The one time I saw them live was on a Saturday, and they played this and it made me so happy.

3. Carly Simon, "Why"
This song sounds like it would be in an episode of Miami Vice where Tubbs is romancing a lady at a party on a boat. Okay actually, that's most of them (Jan Hammer even wrote a piece of music for the show called "Boat Party," though this is not used at the boat party hosted by Gene Simmons. God, that show rules). On a side note, I just realized that Ted Nugent has been on Miami Vice, Undeclared, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. How can someone so awesome be a republican? (Or for that matter, so into bowhunting?) Also, I could not love Carly's outfit in this video more. She looks frickin' incredible.

4. Van Halen, "Ice Cream Man"
Do you love how even in talking about music, I still manage to talk about my obsession with all things Apatow? But let's face it, this song is inextricably entwined in my mind with Kim Kelly trying to run over Daniel (and Karen from The Office, also named Karen here). This is the most David Lee Roth song on this album... it's so clearly the song Dave had to beg Eddie to do.

5. Bill Withers, "Harlem"
I keep finding myself listening to Bill Withers lately... it seems I have a lot more than I realized. And in spite of his songs' overuse in sometimes questionable movies, I've decided this is a good thing. This one isn't his best, but I do always enjoy songs about Harlem. Also, I haven't managed to mention anything related to a Judd Apatow production here, so can I mention how disappointed I am that Lloyd, the hottie Brit from Undeclared, is looking way less than fine in that new biker shows he's in? I didn't even recognize him at first.

6. R.E.M., "The One I Love"
This was one of my favorite songs in third or fourth grade, and it still holds up. R.E.M. are one of those bands (like U2) that when I was in grade school, I thought I'd love forever... but then the 90s happened, and they started releasing terrible albums. Disagree with me all you want, I don't even like Automatic for the People very much. Anyway. I also remember in my youth finding the imagery in this video very romantic, and at the same time what I assumed the south was like (I think because I had no idea what that would mean, and knew R.E.M. were from Georgia). They just don't make videos like this anymore, with completely random stuff just piled end on end in a way that makes no damn sense.

7. The Perishers, "Trouble Sleeping"
Or wait... maybe they do. Actually nevermind, it's just that there's a goldfish there for no reason. Otherwise, it's a straightforward performance video. If you read this blog regularly, you know that if I know a song this new, I probably heard it on The O.C.. In this case, you're right. Sometimes though, I know even newer songs, like this one, and then I think, "Damn, that would have totally been perfect for The O.C..

8. Dokken, "It's Not Love"
Okay, enough slow songs. Time to get rokken! I love this song, and I love any video that shows heavy metal fans in their prime as this one does (I also enjoy audience participation so to speak, as here and in the Carly Simon). And the little KNAC van! The Strip in the 80s! Jeff Pilson! George Lynch! Laker girls! Clarence Clemmons?

9. KISS, "Reason to Live"
I feel like at one point Chuck Klosterman said he's the only person who listened to albums like Hot in the Shade and Crazy Nights but um, ahem. I'm not proud. But I really like super-inspirational-sounding lyrical metal, especially for working out. Note the "-sounding" -- this is actually a breakup song, even though it sort of doesn't sound that way. This is doubly confusing if you watch the video, because Paul Stanley makes jazz hands no matter what the song is about. Similar sort of to how Stryper songs sound like love songs, but are meant to be actually literally inspirational, like in the religious sense. In KISS songs, the implied "you" is the woman in the video crying over Paul Stanley. In Stryper, it's J.C. Possible exception: Their inexplicable cover of "Shining Star."

10. Paul Young, "Come Back and Stay"
You know I always love these 80s songs with a creepy robo-babe sounding chorus and handclaps regardless of the era, and this is no exception. I love how even though it's a let's-get-back-together song, it sounds so totally cold. Also, you must watch this video, it is like a montage of ridiculous 80s-ness and Paul Young executing cat-like jumps.

11. Warren Zevon, "Werewolves of London"
This song is not only on my shuffle, it seems to come up every time I use my shuffle. I do like it, but I wish Warren Zevon were remembered for others more often! This song also makes me think of this incredibly horrible horror movie (at least I think it's a horror movie? I don't remember it being especially scary) Wolfen, the gist of which if I remember it is New York City being built on some kind of Indian burial ground, hence werewolves. Also, why would it help werewolves to be able to hear clouds move?

12. Blondie, "X Offender"
I was really, really into Blondie when I was younger. Like one of my fondest ambitions was to wear the exact outfit Debbie Harry wears on the cover of Autoamerican (it's the outfit she wears in the "Rapture" video as well). But at some point, I just fell out of like with them. I think a lot of it is the infighting, since I've got that whole crazy "I need musicians to be friends with each other thing." Since I'm sure I'd really be capable of being good friends with coworkers who I had to also sometimes live with.

13. Malcolm McLaren, "Buffalo Gals"
Just to create a little downtown-in-the-80s kind of vibe right here, let's throw in Malcolm McLaren. I mean face facts, whatever subcultural trend he chose to exploit at any given time, you've got to give the man credit, he always did a great job with it. Even if this song inadvertently begat "The Real Slim Shady."

14. Smashing Pumpkins, "Siva"
Smashing Pumpkins are one of those bands where it's really easy to get caught up in how pretentious their lead singer is and forget that they had some really good songs. Or forget that like, when you're in high school lyrics like "and god is empty / just like mmeeeeeee" sound all meaningful and stuff. Since in SD it's the 90s on the radio, I actually have heard them recently more than I had in years, and I still have to say, if I hear the beginning of "Today" I totally tear up. But if you read this blog at all regularly, you know that you could insert like, a kajillion things in the first half of that sentence and still have it work.

15. Depeche Mode, "Never Let Me Down Again"
Speaking of, the Smashing Pumpkins do a fantastic cover of this song. Let's be clear: I love me some Depeche Mode. I remember the first time I ever heard "Strangelove," and I was just totally blown away. I was also like, mad young, and had no idea what the hell it was about. Anyway, DM are one of the mainstays of my youth that I never aged out of, and this song is a good example of why. Love the lyrics, love the instrumentation, love the drums, love the piano, love the synthesizers, love it all. Especially love Dave Gahan. Mmm, Dave Gahan.

16. Pretty Boy Floyd, "Shut Up"
PBF are truly among the bottom-feeders of the waning glam metal scene of the early 90s. Anyone who thinks Winger or Slaughter killed glam metal, let me please refer you to "I Wanna Be With You," which actually includes lines about like, checking out a girl by the lockers. And not in a creepy "she's only seventeen" kind of way. Or check out Kristy Krash Majors on Geraldo. With his mom. Trust me, it's no Chris Holmes from W.A.S.P. and his mom. (I wish I had groupies I could tell to "take your drawers off.") Can you imagine having been a groupie for PBF? People would be like, "I've never heard of them," and that's like, the best that can be said for that situation. That said, PBF are hardly the worst band of the era. Or even the one with the worst makeup. They left that for Enuff Z'nuff, who look like a Lisa Frank notebook threw up all over them.

17. Annie, "Heartbeat"
Now this is good bad pop. Something about the almost over-insistent drum, and the way her Norwegian accent and spooky falsetto render the most simple lyrics only semi-intelligible... it's been a while, but I'm still definitely feeling this song. Plus lord knows I love the whole dressing all in one color thing.

18. Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians, "What I Am"
This is one of those songs that I forget exists for it feels like years at a time, then remember and am like, oh yeah, I totally like that song (another example would be "No Myth" by Michael Penn -- that song is so old that at the time of its release, I thought Heathcliff meant this guy). Between this song and marrying Paul Simon, I will say to her credit that she's often a NYT crossword clue. Edie Brickell always looks to me like the kind of high school girl I would have thought was incredibly cool when I was in middle school. Or like a sort of grunge version of Jennifer Jason Leigh.

19. The Cure, "The Perfect Girl"
So, let's just take a tour of my formative years this month, huh? I think my shuffle knows my b-day is around the corner and is trying to make me feel old. Keep this up, shuffle, and I will buy that sweet new pink nano. Anyway, that's another story. The main story is yes, I was really into the Cure growing up, particularly Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me. This song being included in an episode of My So-Called Life was the icing on the cake. Apparently this is the one song they didn't make a video for, but you can get your Robert Smith fix here. (You will not regret clicking on that link, trust me.)

20. The Dickies, "Banana Splits (The Tra La La Song)"
If you think the lyrics to this song -- the theme to the Hanna-Barbera live-action Six Flags tie-in of the same name -- are inexplicable, you need to see the show. The only explanation for it (Six Flags tie-in aside) is drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. (The best comment on that video is "oddly compelling, with or without hallucinogens.") I have a very high tolerance for H-B (though a lot less for Sid and Marty Kroft), but it's unwatchable. Nonetheless, the Dickies manage to make it a bit more fun.

So all in all, this month we've got lots of songs I felt strongly about in grade school, songs I felt strongly about in high school, and songs that allow me to mention TV shows I either super love or super hate. Apparently, that's how I roll. At least until next month. Which starts in like, an hour. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but only a little, I feel like October has totally snuck up on me.

And P.S., yeah I'm doing pics this way for these posts because trust me, it's mad preferable to uploading and formatting a zillion separate images. On a side note, I noticed the other day that even though my images look gorgeous on my Mac, they look a bit crispy in Firefox on my PC (they look good in IE though). Sigh. I don't test every platform/browser/etc., so if they look crispy on your screen, I'm sorry! My advice: When possible, click on them, you should then see a version that should (hopefully?) look good on any screen and be whatever full-size is for that image.

P.P.S. Bonus pics: 4a: Kim Kelly and Lindsay spot Daniel's treachery; 16a: Pretty Boy Kristy Krash Majors on Geraldo; 20a: Cosplay pioneers the Banana Splits.

Lust for Things

So the verdict is in: Even though I'm giving 90-New-10 a shot, everyone else is like, "dude, for real, there's no topping the old 90210." To this, I have to say, go back and watch the episode that is just Cindy Walsh being conflicted about having an affair, and tell me it's not dead boring. (You've got no excuse, that link is to a streaming version.)

Likewise, watch any episode of Arrested Development (or let me recommend this one -- again, streaming) and tell me you don't want more Lucille Bluth. Case closed, we're giving 90-New-10 a shot.

Also on another side note, before I actually get into this post (I know, taking forever, sorry), why does my dog feel compelled to wake me up before 7 a.m. on Sunday? The cruelest part of this is that immediately following her breakfast, she goes back to sleep until about noon...whereas those of us who can't fall back to sleep... try to write a blog post that's not totally cracked out.

Anyway. So recently I've been reading (and in some cases re-reading) a lot of writing about consumption. People seem to fall into two camps: False consciousness/cultural dupes (hegemony, ur doin it rite?) and then consumer power/resisting users.

Whereas in the case of something like media you find lots of both, in the case of consumption, most of the really successful arguments are of the false consciousness/cultural dupes variety. There are a decent amount of resistant users arguments, but they aren't as widely read, as far as I can tell are never published as popular (i.e. non-academic) books, and mostly come from England and Australia. I guess epic shoppers that we are here in the U.S., no one really tries to redeem it.

This is sort of weird, because the false consciousness argument makes us look like idiots. Lots of folks make this argument, but probably the most well-known person who does is Juliet B. Schor. I recently reread The Overspent American: Why We Want What We Don't Need, and while I remember feeling conflicted about it when I first read it (which was in my junior year of college), this time I had the mental faculties to pull together a smackdown.

Why is this necessary? Because if you accept her argument, you accept that you are an idiot. Unless, that is, you have had what she describes as literally almost a religious conversion experience (shedding the shrouds of false consciousness) and become a downshifter, which means you shift your work/life balance toward the latter. However, for a lot of these people this also means like, knitting their own clothes -- um, it's called the Salvation Army people, everything's used and usually under $5. She doesn't say lots of downshifters live in Brooklyn, but based on their description and everything New York magazine tells me about the state of Brooklyn today, they do. While purportedly downshifters are no longer defining themselves via consumption, the people she talks to are constantly worrying about money and more to the point, still consuming, in a really specific and narrow way. Uh, if this isn't defining oneself through consumption, I don't know what is.

Now don't get me wrong -- there's nothing wrong with downshifting. I mean in some sense I've done it -- I left a real job for academia because I came to the conclusion as well that my balance needs to be tilted in the "life" direction. Why I'm not crazy about how she describes it fits in with why I'm not crazy about the rest of the book -- downshifters sound like the elect, like in a Calvinist sense. The chosen people! Who live, and importantly for her argument, consume, in the right way.

But what is this "right" way? This is something the book implies rather than explains. Throughout, Schor assumes it is possible to easily decide between people's wants and needs. She claims most people, as the title implies, are buying too many "wants" -- "things we don't need." While it's easy to take really egregious examples -- like did that Enron dude really "need" a multi-thousand dollar umbrella stand -- most of her examples are more mundane. And what a lot of them appeal to boil down to is a problem with status-seeking.

Now don't get me wrong. I am the most anti-credit card person ever, I'm psycho about debt, I'm not saying yes, buy whatever you want and go into hock to get it. What I dislike about this argument is that in using it to delineate a "right" way of consuming, it implies that certain groups of people are inevitably "doing it wrong." You actually wind up with an argument that says essentially that rich, white men are doing it right, and of course, guess who's doing it wrong. She unleashes torrents of condescension against any purchase meant to imply status-striving and with it, blurring class boundaries (admittedly, there's a larger Veblenian argument here where the wealthy are of course "starting it" to enforce their privilege and making everyone else have to keep up). For her, however, all "keeping up" is basically false consciousness -- you don't really know why you want that, you're deluding yourself if you think you really need it. Inevitably she also uses the example of inner city minority youth buying sneakers and bling, and is equally assured in condemning this across the board. And who buys the most crap of all? Of course, women.

Now while I am the first to agree that compulsory femininity is no good, I am not going to assume that all women's consumption is necessarily unnecessary. Or that of any group. Another book I recently read -- that was fantastic -- does just that. In Inside Toyland: Working, Shopping, and Social Inequality, Christine L. Williams works in two different toy store chains and then turns it into a really fascinating discussion of how gender, race, and class stratification operate in selling and buying. She uses lots of examples from her field notes, but one that really struck me is one where she sells a video game to a poor black family. Immediately in her head, she's like, omg, how can they be wasting money on this, blablabla -- but then she's like, wait, I'm just making racist and classist assumptions. I have no idea why they're actually buying this. This is the jump JBS never makes -- she basically always works from the assumption that it's unproblematic to try to be the arbiter of everyone else's purchases. Even though I can't say I completely agree with the opposing arguments (which focus on consumption as an empowering and resistant act), I can say this -- I don't agree with presuming to be able to judge the purchasing patterns of individuals or groups. I feel like I can only really judge myself.

And how do I? Well, even though I love shopping, dressing up, and all that, I don't have all the storage problems JBS implies I'll have. Possibly because in condemning across the board, she doesn't get much into the idea of buying used or trading -- the former of which I almost always do, and the latter I do as much as possible. She also implies that collecting is basically a pathology. Now I'm not saying I don't enjoy the company of others, the outdoors, my dog, and all of these other things on the "life" side of the scale -- but I'm not willing to agree that it's inherently wrong to take pleasure in objects. I love being surrounded by books. And I am bizarrely proud of my collection of handbags, which I actually think of as a collection. If god forbid they fell while I was in my closet, they might bury me, but I genuinely enjoy choosing just the right one every day. And yes, I would like to continue to build the collection. So whatever, call an exorcist or something to help me get rid of the demon of false consciousness. Or on the other hand... my birthday is coming up.

P.S. Sing it to the tune of the Iggy Pop song used in both Trainspotting and commercials for Carnival cruise lines.

P.P.S. One of the better arguments for not making blanket assumptions about others I've ever read, by the late David Foster Wallace. Yes, I am feeling guilty about frequently going off on how much I hate some of his short stories. But this is good.

90210 vs. 90-New-10

1/27/09: I've given up on 90-New-10. Yes, it was inevitable. But when they took a six-week hiatus and it took me more than a week to realize it was back, this led to the subsequent realization that I didn't care. Will Annie and what's-his-butt stay together? Don't care. Will her dad and Naomi's mom's long-lost kid turn out to be an evil imposter? Don't care. Will Naomi ever dress in a top that doesn't look like a corset? Don't care. If they could somehow just make it all about Brenda, Kelly, et al. I'd watch again... but if that's really what I want, I'm pretty sure I can just watch 9021-Old in syndication.

Okay, so we all know what happened last night, right? Sure, sure, republican national convention blabla--come on, people! Series premiere of the new 90210, or as I am now calling it, 90-New-10. Two hours. Brenda, Kelly, and ... Nat. Come on, you knew Nat would be in it, even if he wasn't in the pilot for the original 90210 (then again, neither was Dylan). But the question remains: How do the two stack up? Leading us to the second question: How much time will I waste answering it? Spoiler alert y'all -- let's get to it. P.S. Click on any pic to see full size.

The Opening: Yes, the original pilot was before they had the round logo. What they did have, however, was stock footage of opulent Beverly Hills (e.g., a blonde in a cocktail dress carrying a surfboard). The new opening is much the same, but with many more bells and whistles, by which I mean amped-up colors and cheesy lens flare. Advantage: Neither I prefer the opening they use in later seasons of the original series, with the slightly rock-ified music and the characters dancing in front of a white backdrop. Sorry, a cop-out, I know.

The School: So from the outside, it actually is the same school! I was totally surprised to realize this. It is Torrance High School which is also the high school in Less Than Zero. Hell yeah! So the main difference you see here is the lighting... the entire 9021-Old pilot looks like it was filmed right before a tornado or something, I don't know what's going on. Advantage: Tie Sorry y'all, it's the same school.

The Newbies: On the left, Brandon and Brenda Walsh, the Minnesota transplants who anchor the original 90210; on the right, Dixon and Annie Wilson, the Kansans who as you can see by Annie's expression are still disgusted by the idea of vehicular sex (come, on "jeepin'"? Clueless, anyone? Anyway. It's only been the pilot, but I had to look up Dixon's name because I couldn't remember what it was. Annie is sort of over-animated -- for someone who just moved to Beverly Hills from Wichita, she acts like Lindsay Lohan toward the end of Mean Girls when she should be acting like Lindsay Lohan's character at the beginning of Mean Girls. Even though Brandon often goes all Elizabeth Wakefield-preachy, I have to give this one to the Walshes. Advantage: 9021-Old

The Obnoxious Blonde Guy:For some reason, both shows have an annoying, entitled blonde guy who heckles the other characters and generally acts like a smarmy jerk. I did remember the name of the character on the right, George, because I was immediately like, "Ew, why'd they add a new Steve Sanders?" That said, he seems like he won't be much of a presence, which is why I say Advantage: 90-New-10

The Nasty Popular Girl: I honestly hadn't realized how much the two pilots had in common till I actually sat down to do this. But yes, Brenda/Annie goes to class and winds up in forced close contact with Kelly/Naomi, stuck-up blonde hotties who want nothing to do with these hayseeds. While I appreciate how much Chanel Naomi wears, Kelly Taylor is one of the best characters from the original 90210 -- so great that she is yes, even in 90-New-10. For that we have to say Advantage: 9021-Old

The AV Nerd: The overlap isn't perfect, but I was struck that both series have a slightly hyper nerdy guy who's constantly behind the lens of a video camera. And who they named Navid. Hmm, that's one letter off from David. Coincidence? I think not. Also, since they'd never have an actual nerdy girl character on these new shows, Navid seems to have incorporated a lot of the traits they gave to Andrea, which is kind of just weird. That said, Navid is the same age as the other characters and has a dad who produces pornography -- making him probably a bit higher in the high school hierarchy than the son of an orthodontist, no? At the same time though, I love me some Brian Austin Green -- from "Squash It" to "Precious To Me" (an unbelievably horrible song in the proud tradition of "Please Don't Go Girl"), I've got to give it to David. Advantage: 9021-Old

The Welcoming Committee: Yes, two new students = such a big deal it must be broadcast to the entire student body. Um, wha? Anyway. Brandon goes on the (pre-David and Donna DJing) radio station; Annie has an embarrassing flash animation of her posted on a "blog." I say "blog" in quotes because wtf blog have you ever seen that looks like this? Or webcast, or podcast, or anything? I'm sure it's supposed to look like a stylish Clockwork Orange reference, but it looks like those Max Factor ads with Carmen Electra. I love also how it needs no browser. The only realistic thing about this "blog" is the poor punctuation ("visitor's"). I wish I felt like it were intentional. And besides, I always thought it was cool how the radio station was in a little glass booth that looked out on the hallway. Advantage: 9021-Old

The Clothes: You know clothes are a big part of it! Annie and Dixon's dad even makes a reference to Kelly's polka dot leggings in the new show. Indeed -- the polka dot bike shorts look straight out of American Apparel, and colored denim and vests are back in. And obviously, a little Chanel purse never went out of style. On the other hand: High waists, tapered legs, and belts, belts, belts... not so much. I'm not so much for the corset-style tops, but you know I love the new girls' statement bags, short-shorts, and miniskirts. Will these outfits look just as dated in ten years? Let's just say I don't think I would have found layered leggings cool in 1990. Advantage: 90-New-10

The Too-Sexy Dress: Both Brenda and Annie's parents have a "Welcome to Beverly Hills" moment as they assess their respective daughters in LBDs that they find to be a bit much. Honestly, this was another similarity overkill moment I was kind of surprised by -- but then again, maybe not. Can I also mention here: While it's nice that the kids on the new 90210 actually do look high school age, holy bleep are the girls skinny. In any event, both sets of parents are appalled, but in the new one Jessica Walter, who has to my amazement and delight been cast basically as Lucille Bluth, tells a dirty anecdote about Ricardo Montalban. Advantage: 90-New-10

The Big Party: Both the old and new pilots are actually two episodes smushed together into a quasi-sense-making combo, and in both the climax of the first hour is a really big party. In the original, it's a back-to-school party thrown by a poor-little-rich-girl type character who we never see after the pilot; in the new one, it's Naomi's "not-so-sweet sixteen" party. The former shows that it is wild and crazy by having fully-clothed people jump into the pool; the latter shows where the budget for the ludicrously sparsely attended white party in the season premiere of Gossip Girl went, with crazy lighting and decor. However, the old party has Steve wearing a blazer and shorts. Ugh, I keep going back and forth on this one so it's Advantage: Yes, another tie.

The Big Date: Both Brenda and Annie get a taste of the bright lights and big city as they go on dates that have people panicking that they are in over their heads. Brenda gets involved in an actually fairly boring plot arc where she pretends to be in college after meeting an older guy; Annie uses her aw-shucks good looks and spastic stumbling to immediately woo a dude with a private jet who whisks her away to San Francisco for dinner. Now I've only been there once, but I totally don't remember there being palm trees in SF. Nonetheless... Advantage: 90-New-10

The final verdict? It seems we have a tie on our hands. I didn't even go into the stuff no one cares about, like the parents (in the new one they get an illegitimate child plot going right away with the dad, and it's just like DON'TCARE, DON'TCARE, get back to the kids). Similarly, the original's pilot includes implied teacher romance stuff that never goes anywhere. The stuff I do care about? Well, in spite of having never been to a high school anything game, I do love high school sports montages, and this one got bonus points for being lacrosse.

Also -- how I didn't manage to mention this earlier, I don't know -- they actually make David and Kelly's half-sister Erin a character! Yes, her hair has gone from white blonde to black, but whatever. She survived getting lost when David fell asleep on a park bench after coming down from all the speed he had to do to stay up to do his radio show and nearly drowning in the bathtub when Kelly and Colin were doing coke in the next room. As far as I'm concerned, she can do whatever she wants. (Also, in spite of her appearance on her "blog," I liked her clothes the best of anyone's on the show.) ALSO: THIS JUST IN: Even though I noticed at the time that she had a Spanish/Jewish hyphenated last name, I totally did not put together (thanks BB) that the girl anchoring the news on the new 90210 is Andrea and Jesse's kid!!! This kind of cross-series continuity makes my day.

Likewise, the whole Jessica Walter Arrested Development thing is gonna totally keep me going till the movie comes out! Lucille was my favorite character in that, and could potentially become my favorite character in this. On the whole, I've got to say, I'm impressed: this seemed like a pretty bad idea, but it was at least as watchable as the original. The real question is, will it ever reach the heights of "Donna Martin graduates!" or the greatest episode of all time -- the one where David and the random fat guy host a "rave", a fire breaks out, and Kelly and her lesbian stalker are trapped in the basement screening room. Ah, the good old days.